


Princess Solar Flees the Royal Patriarchy

by SpaceShaolin



Series: The "reality" in BLACK AU Trilogy [1]
Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22045270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceShaolin/pseuds/SpaceShaolin
Summary: Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about a forced marriage, the stifling expectations of society, and the imminent, ever-present threat of climate change?
Series: The "reality" in BLACK AU Trilogy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586833
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	Princess Solar Flees the Royal Patriarchy

In retrospect, Solar supposed ripping her royal skirt off before making a run for it hadn’t been her best plan. But it had sounded like a good idea to her at the time, and besides, there was no reversing it now, not when she’d already gone and done it. And anyway, the dress she was wearing now was her most favorite one – the one with the secret pants beneath the skirt – so really, there was just something about today that begged her to take it all off and just run.

Of course, there was also the fact that she’d been expected to give her final decision on the whole marriage thing later today.

She hazarded a peek from her hiding spot in an alleyway and sighed in relief when she saw none of her palace guards in sight.

“Yeah, still not getting married,” she said to herself, adjusting the crown on her head. She offered a small, sympathetic pout for her palace guards, sure to be huffing and puffing out there, as they tore the whole town apart to find her. They weren’t bad guys, really. Just very dedicated – bad for her, but ultimately the sole reason her father had hired them to watch over her in the first place. She was glad to be rid of them.

And so, operating on this single thought, Solar allowed her feet to guide her onwards, instinctively leading herself further away from the palace grounds. This also meant Solar was walking back towards a loud group of people she’d ran past earlier – only this time, only three of them remained at the scene.

“Protect the earth!” one of them said, raising her placard.

“We only have one planet!” the other one answered, pumping a fist into the air and clutching a camera in the other.

“Yeah!” the third one contributed, looking a little out of place in her red leather jacket.

Solar paused to re-evaluate her options, not at all thrilled to have run into a trio of grown women screaming at each other.

Well, only two of them were screaming at each other, more like, while the third one stood by with her baby pram to take pictures of the argument. She’d apparently given up on the random screaming to review the snapshots she’d taken.

Solar gathered her willpower and approached the group. To her dismay, the first person she’d managed to make eye contact with looked to be the most intimidating person of the lot.

“What’s going on?” Solar asked, putting on the most authoritative voice she could manage. “What are they doing?”

The red lady looked up from her phone to give Solar a once-over. “Oh, nothing much," she said. "It got kind of boring after a while anyway." Then, she resumed her business with her phone, apparently unimpressed with what she'd just seen.

Solar let this display of stone-cold indifference pass. She hadn’t had much experience exercising her princess duties after all, so she supposed it was fine if this person wasn’t sensible enough to immediately drop to her knees and pay homage to royalty. She braced herself and persisted. “What got kind of boring?”

“This.” The other woman waved a hand at the still-screaming duo. “They’re having a shouting contest.” 

“A shouting contest,” Solar repeated.

“Uh-huh,” the other woman confirmed.

“That explains the um… the shouting.”

“Shouting’s usually all that happens in shouting contests.”

“I see.”

“It’d be weird if they’d be whispering in a shouting contest, you know? Kind of defeats the purpose of the whole thing.”

“Oh, yes.”

An awkward silence stretched between them. Solar allowed it to stretch for a few moments more, until finally deciding to break it herself when it became obvious the other woman was no longer interested in talking.

“I’m Solar,” she said, daring to break the ice.

“Hello,” the other woman replied.

And that was it.

It was this stilted introduction that prompted Solar to blurt out, “I’m a princess,” but that was only because she’d failed to provoke the intended reaction.

The other woman finally turned to face her. “And I’m confused,” she said. “Did you want to know my name or something?”

“Was it not clear?”

“You could have just asked,” she muttered. “Hwasa.”

Solar made a little fistpump and nodded to herself, now satisfied with the conversation’s outcome. Then, remembering her place, she slipped right back into Princess Mode and nodded curtly. “Hello, Hwasa.”

“I suppose you want to know who these two are as well,” Hwasa continued, not a bit moved by the display. But now that she’d been given the greenlight to keep the conversation going, she seemed determined to continue talking as much as possible. “Although personally, I wouldn’t recommend it. They seem like a couple of nutjobs.”

As if on cue, the ongoing shouting contest escalated in volume. It had also apparently escalated in other ways, as the two screaming women were now trying to outdo themselves with extravagant hand gestures and body movements.

“Preserve our planet!” the shorter, blue-haired woman screeched. She waved her placard about and hopped in place a few times, amazingly never running out of breath the whole time.

“That one’s Wheein,” Hwasa said.

“Love Mother Nature!” the taller, purple-haired woman yelled in response. She’d placed her camera down on the ground and was now attempting to breakdance.

“And that one’s Moonbyul.”

“Reuse, reduce, recycle!” Wheein said.

“Save our planet!” Moonbyul said.

“Hello!” Solar said, still on a high after successfully forging a friendship with an outsider.

“Save the planet to save humanity!” Wheein screamed even louder, mistaking Solar’s greeting as a declaration of war.

“Go green or go –” Moonbyul started to say, but found all the air knocked out of her as soon as she laid eyes on Solar.

Solar made the mistake of looking back at Moonbyul, and so, she wasn't able to stop the shudder that ran up her spine when she saw how lovestruck the other woman had become.

“Go green or go home with me!” she said. “Hi there, I’m Moonbyul.”

“Ew!” Wheein screeched again, but her pout made it obvious she was bummed their shouting contest had come to an abrupt end.

None of this deterred Moonbyul. “Would you be interested in having your beauty captured on film? I’m a music video director. Do you like ballads or pop music? I could film you with any soundtrack you like.”

“Hey, film me instead,” Hwasa volunteered. “I’m pretty.”

“Listen, I’m not filming you until you’ve given me your phone number,” Moonbyul said, turning to Hwasa. “We’ve gone over this several times now.”

Hwasa looked insulted by this proposition. “You wouldn’t dare,” she said.

“Oh, but I would,” Moonbyul answered. “And I would definitely do it, you know, even if you didn’t dare me to get your number.”

“No, I meant that literally,” Hwasa retorted. “I bet you’re too chicken to even do that. You haven’t been able to look at Princess over there without turning red.”

Moonbyul’s face instantly reddened and she cleared her throat to try and take everyone’s attention off it. “Well, the offer still stands. Give me your number and I’ll immortalize you on film.”

“Oh, you’re so direct, Miss Moonbyul,” Wheein said with a flirty grin, thinking the comment had been for her.

Solar took a step back, feeling completely overwhelmed by all this newfound friendship.

“Would you be interested in hearing about climate change and how it threatens to destroy us all?” Wheein said, now looking at Solar with an eager glint in her eyes. She’d also started bouncing on her toes, now excited at the thought of converting one more person to her cause.

“Why’re you only filming her?” Hwasa continued to demand. “I’m good enough to be on camera too. See?” She twirled in front of Moonbyul and flipped her hair for added effect.

Moonbyul cheered at the display and encouraged Hwasa to do more.

Now that she was being asked to properly show off, Hwasa chose to do the opposite by ignoring Moonbyul completely to focus on Solar again.

“What’s she got that I don’t?” she asked. “What were you supposed to be again?”

“I already told you,” Solar said. “I’m a princess.”

“Is that why you’re wearing that weird thing on your head?”

“Weird thing!” Solar gasped, shocked by Hwasa’s incredible lack of tact. “This is a crown, I’ll have you know! A crown I designed myself!”

“Yeah, okay, whatever.”

“A princess, huh? I can believe it,” Moonbyul said, reaching a hand towards Solar’s face. “An angel, too. Gosh, you’re so pretty.”

Solar swatted Moonbyul’s hand away. Moonbyul didn’t take offense to this, as Solar had hoped, and recovered quickly by throwing her a sharp salute and a wink instead. Solar very much took offense to this and made sure to tell Moonbyul so.

“I’m serious about me being a princess,” Solar said, pointedly ignoring Moonbyul’s persistent swooning. “I’m on the run from my own palace guards and I could really use some lunch.”

“What for? You’re already a whole snack as it is.”

“Well, I’ve got a snack,” Hwasa said. She rolled her eyes, but reached a hand inside her pram and drew out a chicken drumstick. She handed it to Solar. “This is chicken I’m giving you. You do eat this sort of thing wherever you’re from?

Because Solar was a princess raised with proper manners, she didn’t question the origins of her lunch and accepted the gift gratefully. “Of course I do,” she said. “I’m sheltered and ignorant, but I’m not stupid.”

Wheein snorted, briefly glancing at Hwasa’s pram in wonder. “Well, at least someone here’s self-aware.”

Moonbyul put a hand to her chest. “But I just told you I’m a starving artist. My films barely make any money. But my music videos are killer and really bring home the bacon. You eat bacon, Princess?”

“Please, just Solar is fine.”

“Just! Don’t talk about yourself like that! You can’t be ‘just’ Solar! You’re more than that!”

“Is she always like this?” Solar wondered aloud.

“I don’t know, we only just met today,” Wheein answered.

“Aw, Wheein,” Moonbyul said. “It feels like we’ve known each forever! Don’t you get the same feeling too?”

“Wheein and I have been getting the feeling that you should have shut up a million minutes ago,” Hwasa said. “And we’ll probably have the same feeling forever too.”

“That really hurts.”

Solar continued to chew on her snack, pleased to feel the energy flood through her. Wheein looked on in envy.

“Aw, now I’m getting hungry,” she said. “And I’m really tired too, for some reason.”

“I wonder what you did to get so tired?” Moonbyul agreed, genuinely not knowing the answer.

Hwasa reached into her pram and took out another drumstick. “Here,” she said, handing it to Wheein. “Don’t want you collapsing out of hunger here or anything.”

“How many of those things do you have in there anyway?” Moonbyul asked, peeking inside the pram. She gasped when she found it filled to the brim with chicken drumsticks. “Oh my god!” she said, drawing back in horror. “What kind of mother are you! How could you sell your child for all these drumsticks? Could I have one too?”

Hwasa took out another drumstick from her pram and threw it straight at Moonbyul’s face. “Shut up. Don’t diss my parenting skills. What do you know anyway, are you married?”

“No, but I could be,” Moonbyul answered. She munched on her drumstick, initial horror about Hwasa’s priorities and personal decisions now completely forgotten. She turned to Solar. “See, this could be us, but you don’t know you like me yet.”

“Ugh!” Solar said and stamped her foot. “I’m getting goosebumps just listening to you!”

“I have that effect on all the ladies.”

“Could be why you don’t _have_ any ladies.”

“Listen, this drumstick’s really neat, but lemme tell you guys, the way they make this stuff really does a number on our ozone layer.”

Everyone turned to look at Wheein.

“What?” she said, giving her bone a few final licks.

“Where’s the rest of your crew?” Hwasa asked.

Wheein shrugged. “Oh, they went out for lunch.” She crossed her arms and huffed when she saw everyone else’s unbelieving expressions. “What?” she said. “We’re activists, not robots! We get hungry too! I only stayed behind, because a certain _someone_ here thought she could yell about the world’s destruction better than me.”

“You’re cute.” Moonbyul laughed. “Aren’t you glad you met me?”

Wheein socked her in the shoulder.

“I’m just doing a quick grocery run for my kid,” Hwasa volunteered, even though no one had asked how she was spending her time. “She’s the center of my universe and none of you are absolutely allowed to meet her.”

“You’re a terrible mom,” Moonbyul informed her.

Hwasa socked her in the shoulder.

“Okay, now it’s your turn,” Wheein said, turning to Solar. “Who are you, what are you doing here, and why have we never heard of you?”

“And what’s your phone number?” Moonbyul added. “Do you even have a phone number? SNS? Snail mail works just fine for me too! Where do you live?”

“Oh my god, stop talking,” Hwasa said. She’d drawn out another drumstick from her pram and started munching on this one too.

Solar looked at them all and wished she could have socked Moonbyul in the shoulder too.

But she was a princess and as a member of royalty, there were certain levels of etiquette she had to abide by. And one level of this was answering questions that were asked of you. Violence could come later, Solar reasoned to herself. She would talk to her new friends first and then sock Moonbyul in the shoulder later.

Solar straightened herself. She tried to ignore Moonbyul’s fawning expression. “Well, I’m a princess. I’m Solar.”

Hwasa waved a hand. “We know that already,” she said.

“Ssh!” Moonbyul tried to sock her in the shoulder, but Hwasa dodged this at the last minute. 

Wheein didn’t miss a beat and socked Moonbyul in the shoulder to take vengeance for Hwasa. Hwasa gazed at Wheein in wonder, now thinking of the pros and cons of smacking her on the lips out here in the open.

“I’m out here, because I’m running away from home,” Solar continued, comletely unfazed by this sudden burst of aggression. “My father wants me to get married to some guy I’ve never even met. But the thing is, I don’t _want_ to get married. I’m not even thirty yet, I still have a lot of things to do besides getting married!”

Solar hadn’t realized she’d gotten emotional until she took a good look at the stunned expressions that were now staring back at her. She giggled self-consciously, hoping it would dispel some of the awkward tension that now filled the silence.

“I didn’t know arranged marriages were still a thing,” was all Wheein said after a while. “Gosh, this stresses me out. I need something to eat again.” She put a hand in Hwasa’s pram and took out a drumstick for herself. Hwasa let her be, but sent Moonbyul a warning glare in case she also got the same idea.

“So, you know,” Solar said, shrugging. “If you see a palace guard or two running around, help me hide or something. They’re going to take me back home and I don’t want to go back home yet.”

“I knew I should have tripped them when I had the chance,” Moonbyul said with real spite. “But say, this is just like Aladdin! Which makes you a regular Disney princess. Do you sing to the birds too? I bet you do. _Do you trust me?_ Heh, I’ve always wanted to say that.”

“I’ve always wondered what it feels like to have a magic carpet,” Hwasa mused out loud. “I bet I’d never have to take the train again.”

“You sure know a lot of movies,” Wheein said. She tested her luck and carefully drew two drumsticks from Hwasa's pram. Hwasa saw this, but chose to let her take what she wanted anyway. Meanwhile, Moonbyul was watching this all unfold with a considerable amount of envy in her eyes.

A light bulb flickered to life in Solar’s head.

“Wait a minute,” she said, now turning to Moonbyul.

Moonbyul, thrilled with having Solar’s attention on her, stared right back at her and stopped trying to get a second drumstick from Hwasa’s pram.

Solar reddened at this sudden exchange of extreme eye contact, but she steeled herself and soldiered on. “You’re stupid,” she said immediately. She was disappointed to find that Moonbyul’s adoring expression didn’t change a bit.

“And you’re pretty,” Moonbyul returned. “When are we going to stop stating the obvious?”

“She acknowledges she’s a dolt,” Hwasa cheered, raising her hands to the sky in thanks.

“Stop being mean,” Wheein said.

Hwasa pouted. " _You're_ being mean."

“No one will ever believe I would choose to get married to you,” Solar continued, slowly beginning to see all the possible scenarios her plan could leave her with. Most of these outcomes took some very dark directions, but she continued talking, hoping she would arrive to a conclusion that would eventually make sense to her. “Or any of you, for that matter!” she added hastily, in case she’d accidentally hurt anyone’s feelings. Wheein and Hwasa didn’t seem to mind this, however. Solar pressed on. “But for some reason, I think things will be more believable if Moonbyul’s the one to do it.”

“Do it?” Moonbyul repeated, her interest now going through the roof, now that she’d been told she was the only one Solar could rely on. “I can do it, whatever it is.”

“Okay,” Solar said. “Marry me, then.”

Solar took a lot of satisfaction from the loud, frantic squawk Moonbyul let loose from her throat.

Hwasa whistled. “Wow, you royal people sure like to move fast.”

Beside her, Wheein sighed. “If only they’d act as fast when the earth’s safety is on the line.”

“You know, you’re cute. But the earth talk is really depressing.”

“We’ll see who’s depressed when the ice caps melt!”

“I’m going to be a mommy,” Moonbyul said in a daze. She’d clearly registered only one part of Solar’s proposition and her mind was now running a mile a minute, thinking of all the implications that had been birthed from this seemingly-innocent idea.

“Think of it as the trial version before the actual thing,” Solar explained carefully, remembering to speak slower so they could all understand. “Only there’s not really going to _be_ an actual thing.”

“Oh.” Moonbyul’s expression plummeted for a moment, but perked up immediately once a thought occurred to her. “But if I pass the trial version, then can I upgrade to the actual thing later on?”

“Oh my god,” Wheein said, partly out of embarrassment in behalf of Moonbyul, and partly out of admiration that she would say such a thing so confidently.

“Are you actually stupid?” Hwasa said, having held no such illusion for Moonbyul’s capacity for basic comprehension.

“What’s the point anyway?” Wheein said, before anyone else, especially Moonbyul, could get a word in. “The world’s about to end. The seas will rise to drown us all for our ignorance. We’re all going to die and we deserve it.”

“Preach it, homegirl,” Hwasa agreed. “Marriage is a waste of time.”

Solar made a face. “I don’t know. It sounds horrible. Why would the seas rise up if I get married?”

“Hey, don’t worry, baby. I promise marriage to me won’t sound half as bad.”

“Wait, you’re not married?” Wheein said, her sense rising above Solar’s violent protests and Moonbyul’s greasy flirtations. She turned to Hwasa and fixed her with the most intense gaze she could muster.

Feeling Wheein’s eyes upon her, Hwasa also turned to her and returned the favor. She felt her heart skip a beat just then, but waved a hand to ward off the feeling. “Nope. I just had my kid and ran.”

“You’re a terrible mom,” Moonbyul informed her again.

Hwasa responded by flipping her the bird. “Believe it or not, some of us actually do just want to have kids and raise them on our own. I only really needed a guy for the first part. I’m pretty badass to handle the whole thing on my own anyway. Motherhood isn’t so bad once you get the hang of it.”

“And how many children did it take for you to realize that?”

“You’ve now been officially banned from my chicken stash.”

“Wait, I take that back!”

“Are you marrying me or not?” Solar asked with rising urgency, now that the conversation was starting to take another weird turn. “I mean, I guess I could always ask somebody else if you don’t want to.”

“I’ll do it, I’ll do it!” Moonbyul said. “Don’t worry, Princess, I got you!”

“That’s exactly what’s got me so worried.”

This did little to dissuade Moonbyul. “Where are we doing it? Who’s buying the rings? Will you guys be there as witnesses?”

“Geez, like I have a choice,” Hwasa said.

“I just said this wasn’t going to be official,” Solar said. “You understand this, right? I was thinking we could just film our pretend-wedding –” Here, she cringed visibly at the prospect. Beside her, Wheein winced in sympathy. “– send it to my father, then be done with it.”

“And you’ll think he’ll be fine with just that?” Wheein said.

Solar shrugged. “Well, if anything, it might gross out that guy he wants me to marry. Then, he’ll finally leave me alone and go marry someone else who loves him back.”

“Sounds depressing,” Hwasa said.

“Hey, would it really be so bad to get married to me?” Moonbyul pouted.

“Think of it this way,” Wheein said, slinging an arm around Moonbyul’s waist. “You’re getting married just as the world’s about to end. We all wish we could have lived long enough to experience the same thing.”

“Not me.” Hwasa raised a hand. “Single parenthood’s the life for me.”

“Wait a minute,” Moonbyul said. “Speaking of parenthood… where’s your kid, Hwasa? Aren’t you supposed to be watching her?”

“She watches herself,” Hwasa gloated. “My little Si-a is a strong, independent woman who will take over the world one day and none of you are allowed to meet her.”

“I wasn’t even planning to!”

“This is going nowhere!” Wheein said. “What are you all going to do when time runs out and the seas drown our lands?”

“Nobody’s drowning in anything until I put my foot down and tell father I absolutely _won’t_ be getting married!”

Moonbyul snapped herself out of her glaring contest with Hwasa. “Wait, but I thought we were getting married?”

Solar groaned and was able to exercise enough self-control to stop herself from strangling Moonbyul. She took in several breaths and was about to begin her explanation anew, but a small scuffle burst out behind her.

“There she is!”

“Princess, please, we really need to get back to the castle now!”

Solar didn’t even need to turn around to confirm that the voices belonged to her palace guards. Both of whom didn’t sound too happy to see her, if their breathless tones were any indication.

“Oh yeah,” Moonbyul said, flexing her arms, although you couldn’t really see them underneath her huge jacket. “This is it, you guys, it’s time we showed our new friend what we’re really made of!”

She cast a hopeful, radiant look behind her, fully expecting to see her new comrades-in-arms flexing their arms also. Instead, she saw all three of them making a run for it.

“You take them on, if you’re so tough!” Hwasa said, dragging her baby pram behind her as she ran.

“Mind the earth, would you?” Wheein scolded, also running, but pausing every now and then to pick up the drumsticks that were now spilling from Hwasa's pram. “Stop wasting your food! You could have just given some of them to me!”

And Solar – bless her royal soul, Moonbyul thought – Solar actually stopped running and extended a hand to Moonbyul. “Come on!” she said. “We still have to get fake-married! Aren’t you coming with us?”

Moonbyul grinned and was elated to see Solar return the grin with her own radiant smile. She grabbed her hand. “Are you kidding?” she said. “Why wouldn’t I want to run away with my universe?”

“Ah, why are you like this?!” Solar screamed when she saw Moonbyul flash her a wink.

But she was still laughing as they ran. It didn’t take long for the others to join her laughter as well, the atmosphere around them staying as sunny as the first time they’d met, never mind if the climates were threatening to change all around them.

* * *

 _“You’re my only one, baby_  
 _A spacecraft that flies to you_ "

_\- Mamamoo ("Universe")_


End file.
